Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

Hey, did you hear? Slade Craven is going to do a concert ON A 747! And it's going to be broadcast live on the INTERNET! OMG, you don't know who Slade Craven is? He's a lot like Marilyn Manson, but 5 years too late and shittier. By which I mean AWESOME. You hear that Slade Craven is a devil worshiper? Come on, man, that's all for show. It's theatrics!

I hope nothing goes wrong. It would be a shame if Slade Craven had an exact duplicate who happened to be a terrorist and a REAL Satan worshiper. And even more of a shame if this guy swapped places with Slade Craven to get on the plane in order to commit the world's biggest unholy sacrifice. IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ONLINE.

Oh, well, if it does happen, I'm sure we can rely on the REAL Slade Craven to save the day, right? With the remote help of a renegade hacker and a plucky federal agent, of course.

Man, this concert is going to ROCK.

This gem is immune to my grading system. Good night, everybody!

6 comments:

  1. ok now is this the third in a series? were the other two about concerts on airplanes? please say yes!

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  2. I think the first two were pretty standard Die Hard on a Plane thrillers. A rock concert would have made them more memorable.

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  3. I guess die hard on a plane is good enough, although if I wanted to watch that I could just go see Passenger 57 or like Die Hard 2 which parts of took place on a plane

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  4. Or Con Air, which is actually a lot of fun. But you know what none of those have? SLADE CRAVEN.

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  5. Loved this review and want to see the movie!

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  6. You have two options: Wait for me to visit Michigan, or just order it off Amazon. I got it for like $1.50 plus shipping.

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